When people ask how long I have been interested in genealogy and family history, I answer, “I was born this way.” I cannot remember ever not being interested in my ancestors. When I was in the fourth grade, I wrote a report on my grandfather whom I had never met, but I interviewed relatives who had known him—and to this day I occasionally reference that elementary school report for information. Since then, over the decades, I have conducted research in fits and starts, mostly for my own curiosity and enjoyment. I have connected with wonderful people, some related and some not, have had unusual experiences, and have many stories to tell. But in the end, it is my passion and my personal pursuit, and I sometimes wonder what I am ultimately ever going to do with all my genealogical “stuff.”
Just the other day, I received an e-mail from a cousin requesting help with a lineage question that could have a personal impact on another cousin. What a thrill to be able to drag out some of my genealogical records and put them to use in helping a family member. John Portis, a second cousin, knew of my interest in genealogy, so when his cousin, Dee Bender, wrote to him asking for information about the genealogy of his matrilineal line, John put Dee in touch with me.
I think that I had met Dee once when he came to California one summer in the 1960s, although I really only remembered the photograph of his visit and stories of his side of the family that sifted down through the years. This was the rich and glamorous side of our family from Chicago, as the stories came to me from my mother about Dee’s grandparents and his beautiful mother, Ruth—or Sis, as she was called by the family. Dee’s father died when he was about 8 years old; his mother died when he was about 18. His two sisters have since died as well. The glitz and glamour had occurred before his time, and family lore had imprinted the rift between our grandmothers—his grandmother was known as “the duchess” and mine as the “spinster aunt” (until she finally married in 1923 at age 30).
| The photograph above has Dee Bender’s matrilineal line going back four generations. His mother, Ruth Portis, is the little girl turned away with the big bow. Her mother, Adele Bonheim Portis, is sixth from the right in the back. Her mother, Sophie Kohner Bonheim, is looking at Ruth and laughing. Her mother, Pauline Springer Kohner, is sitting to the right of Sophie. |
Why was Dee now seeking this particular information about his family line? He explained in a telephone conversation. Dee, now 62, is divorced and has recently moved to Miami from New York where he lives in a Hasidic Jewish neighborhood. Although both of his parents were Jewish, Dee grew up with virtually no Jewish education and no connection to a Jewish community. After moving to Miami, he began to attend Shabbat services in his neighborhood and has become quite attracted to the teachings of Judaism and to the Hasidic community there. When he expressed an interest in becoming more involved with the shul, questions arose about the legitimacy of his Jewish lineage. Along with his lack of Jewish education, Dee was not circumcised at birth. Having acquired his mother’s birth and death certificates, the rabbis were sufficiently satisfied to allow him to have a brit milah (circumcision). In spite of his having performed this significant mitzvah (commandment), however, the information he had provided still was not sufficient for the rabbis to allow him to court women within their community. This is where I came in. Dee wanted more concrete evidence to provide the rabbis showing his matrilineal line to prove that he was indeed Jewish.
Dee’s maternal grandmother and my maternal grandmother were sisters, so we follow the same matrilineal line. Our grandmothers, Adele and Edna, were born in Chicago to Lee and Sophie Bonheim. Sophie was born in Madison, Wisconsin, in 1866 to Bernard and Pauline Kohner. I was able to provide Dee with census records from 1900 back to 1870 following our family through this line. I also have a copy of Sophie and Lee’s marriage certificate, which was issued by the Wisconsin synagogue where they were married in 1886. In addition, I have a reference book entitled A Biographical Guide to the Forest Hills Cemetery, a historic cemetery in Madison, Wisconsin. Our Kohner family is mentioned in a chapter entitled “Jewish Immigrants and Their Descendants” with a notation that both Bernard and Pauline Kohner are buried in the Jewish section of the cemetery.
Whether or not this evidence will be conclusive enough for the Miami Hasidic community remains to be seen. Dee has finally found himself a family within the Jewish community. I hope that they now recognize him as one of their own.
Jan Berlfein Burns, an amateur genealogist, lives in Los Angeles, California. Through her quest to find a meaningful way to compile family information, she has started a business making custom photo books for people as a way to archive their family history. This is her first published genealogy article.
