In the early 1990s, I began to research my Veffer family from Holland. It was before online telephone listings and before everyone had e-mail. While it could now be done in seconds online, I spent hours and hours tediously searching for Veffers in the multi-volume Netherlands telephone books at the University of Toronto’s Robarts Library. I did not find many—fewer than a dozen, but I wrote to all of them hoping to learn if we were related. (This was also before I knew all Veffers are related.)

To my pleasant surprise, three wrote back, including Robert Veffer. Among other things, he said that he was an only child, divorced, with one son and one daughter. He included his father’s and mother’s names (Jacob Veffer and Elisabeth Klaczewski) and his paternal grandparents’ names (Levie Veffer and Jacoba de Vos—names I recognized and knew were already on my family tree). Robert and his father had been estranged for decades; he thought Jacob might still be alive, but wasn’t sure. Aside from his two children and maybe his father, Robert thought he had no other living relatives. After finishing his letter, I checked my family tree, found Robert’s grandparents, and added the information he had volunteered.

At the same time, I joined the Netherlands Society for Jewish Genealogy (Nederlandse Kring voor Joodse Genealogie). Each year they publish their member family finder. I appeared in their newsletter a few months later listed as C. Veffer researching Veffer and Nebig/Nebbig.

Soon after, I received a letter from Holland from a woman who had seen my name and wondered if I was Cosje Veffer. She had known Cosje (a diminutive for Jacoba) in one of the concentration camps, but hadn’t seen her since just after the end of World War II. I replied that I was not Cosje, but would let her know if I discovered anything, since I was trying to find information about every Veffer who ever lived. A few weeks later, another letter arrived from her telling me she’d been inspired to look for Cosje, had been successful, and had spoken to Cosje for the first time in almost 50 years! She’d explained how their reunion had come about (including my part in it) and assured me Jacoba would write to me. It seemed a very long time as I waited, but after some weeks, the letter I was so eagerly awaiting finally arrived.

It was a wonderful, touching letter. Among other things, Jacoba told me she was an only child, divorced, and had one son. Aside from her son, she had no other living relatives. Her mother and mother’s family all had been killed during the war; she had not seen her father since the early 1930s and assumed that he also was dead. She included the names of her mother and father, another Jacob Veffer (I have many Jacob Veffers in my family) and Lea Benavente. Then she listed her paternal grandparents and, to my great surprise, they were Levie Veffer and Jacoba de Vos—again—the same grandparents as Robert!

After double- and triple-checking all the information sent by Robert and Jacoba, it became clear that their father was the same Jacob Veffer. Jacoba was his daughter from his first wife, and Robert was his son from his second wife. They were half-brother and half-sister! Two people, both living in Holland, both thinking they had no siblings, no relatives other than their children. Now, a virtual stranger in Toronto (6,000 km away) had found out that was not true.

Somewhat anxiously, I wrote each of them and included the updated Veffer family tree showing them as undoubted half-brother and half-sister. I wish I could have been there to see their reactions. Again I had to wait weeks until they wrote and told me about their first incredible meeting. I won’t call it a reunion, because they had never met before.

For me, for Jacoba, and for Robert, this was an amazing result of my research. When I started gathering photographs and facts—names, dates, places—I had expected genealogy to be like historical research—not something that could so profoundly touch the lives of people I didn’t know, but to whom I was distantly related. What an astonishing introduction to the human side of genealogy!

Carolynne Veffer, of Toronto, Canada, is a business systems consultant temporarily living in Hong Kong. She is a member of the JGS of Canada (Toronto) and held the positions of secretary, treasurer, and president (2004–06). She has researched her Dutch and Polish roots since the early 1990s including Veffer, Nebig/Nebbig, Franschman (Netherlands: Amsterdam); and Grynszpan, Malach (Poland: Ilza, Wierzbnik, Zwolen).